Tuesday, October 17, 2006

1992: A Love Story

WARNING: Very long, self-indulgent post coming up. Strictly avoidable for those who cannot take Bollywood in large doses.

I dug out a mail from a very long time back (24 Dec 1999, to be precise), which had the list of all the Hindi movies released in 1992. In order to test my memory from 14 years back, I wrote down all the plots & details of the 68 movies I could recall! Took me some 6 days to complete this one post!
I am sure a large number of people are trying to find the number of a mental institution already. For them, skip!
The others who want to find out if they can remember the 14 that I missed, welcome to the party!

1. Angaar – There used to be a director called Shashilal Nair, who used to be in Jackie Shroff’s lobby (imagine, there used to be such a thing)! He made this movie – with a so-called ‘strong’ role for Jaggu-dada. However, Nana Patekar stole the show right under his nose with his deadpan-villain act. Dimple’s role in this movie is a nominee for the Most Irritating Roles Ever.

2. Apradhi – Don’t recall this movie at all. Chances are that it never released in Cal.

3. Baaz – This is the movie which forced Karishma Kapoor’s magnum opus (tee hee!) to be subtitled. (See full story here!) It starred Govinda as a photographer, who inadvertently snaps a murder. Archana Puran Singh appeared in a swim-suit song in this one. Though, the heroine was Sonam, I think.

4. Balwaan – Sunil Shetty’s debut movie, in which he wore vests and snorted like no Deol had done before! I think, Divya Bharti was the female lead and I recall a climax song in the villain’s (Danny Denzongpa) den.

5. Bekhudi – Kajol’s debut movie. With a hackneyed ‘parental opposition to puppy love’ formula (which were getting made by the dozen in the aftermath of QSQT and MPK). I think this was also Kamal Saldanah’s debut movie – but why would that be remembered at all?

6. Beta – One of the biggest hits of the year. Sealed Madhuri Dixit’s claim to Sridevi’s throne – with the anthem ‘Dhak Dhak Karne Laga’. And people are still trying to figure out why it was called Beta? Probably because Anil Kapoor won the Filmfare Best Actor prize in one of the most blatantly rigged prizes in the history of film awards!

7. Bewaffa Se Waffa – One of Vivek Mushran’s last ditch attempts before he went down into oblivion. This one was some kind of a love triangle. (Who is Vivek Mushran? He is the guy who acted opposite Manisha Koirala in her and his own debut film – Subhas Ghai’s Saudagar!)

8. Bol Radha Bol – One of David Dhawan’s earlier hits – which actually had a decent storyline and a gripping screenplay. Rotund Rishi played a double role to Juhi Chawla’s bubbly Radha – and had Kader Khan in one of his funnier roles!

9. Chamatkar – Was this a copy of Ghost? Naseer plays a ghost whom only Shah Rukh can see – and together they help SRK win Urmila Matondakar’s heart, avenge Naseer’s murder and win a cricket match!
Trivia: Ashutosh Gowarikar played the rival cricket captain. Maybe he told SRK the plot of Swades in between shots!

10. Daulat Ki Jung – Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla in a misguided attempt to repeat their QSQT success. Don’t recall anything else. Maybe my sister would remember!

11. Deedar –There is a huge amount of controversy on whether this was Akshay Kumar’s first movie, Karishma Kapoor’s first movie or both’s? Well, this is inarguably the first time Akki and Lolo acted together! Now, that settles the debate (if there was any in the first place!)

12. Deewana – One of Divya Bharti’s biggest hits with Rishi Kapoor – in a love triangle. But SRK stole the thunder with his football-pump act in the ‘Aisi Deewangi’ song!
Bollywood hint: If you want to know who gets the girl in the end, check out who sings the title song!

13. Dharavi – A bloody depressing but reasonably well-made movie starring Om Puri as a taxi driver staying in the largest slum of the world. Shabana Azmi played his wife – and Madhuri Dixit (guest) appeared in his dreams!

14. Ek Ladka Ek Ladki – Salman and Neelam. That’s all I can remember. And I think I will hazard a guess that there was Anupam Kher or Kader Khan too. That is like saying, you either like Pepsi or Coke!

15. Geet – Released after Divya Bharti’s death, this film tried to cash in on the sympathy wave quite shamelessly – but failed miserably. A large part of this film was completed after the actress’ death and several songs had the heroine covered in over-sized pallus etc.

16. Ghar Jamai – The more famous movie of this genre was Jamai Raja starring Anil Kapoor and Hema Malini. This one is a 404.

17. Humlaa – Mithun, must have been. Who else can launch a Humlaa? That too, with a double A!

18. Isi Ka Naam Zindagi – Aamir and Farah in an attempt to make a bad film and succeeding spectacularly. This was a time when Aamir Khan acted in some 5 movies in 1 year and not vice versa!

19. Jaan Se Pyaara – Govinda in a double role – as a cool dude and his retarded twin. No prizes for guessing that each was the other’s jaan se pyara. Aruna Irani played their exasperated mother. No recollection about the heroine.

20. Jeevan Ek Sanghursh – Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit in a moderate entertainer and hit. Had a hit song called “De de mera de de tu bees rupaiya” which is a sure sign of inflation from the days of “Paanch rupaiya barah aana”!

21. Jhooti Shaan – With a name like that, it has to be Mithun and nobody else. But who else? Whatiteez?

22. Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikander – The second outing of the Aamir Khan – Mansoor Khan combine and the most entertaining movie of the year. Lovely songs, brilliant choregraphy (including ‘Pehla Nasha’ shot entirely in slow-mo!), cool cast and a sermon without being preachy!

23. Junoon – Another one of Mahesh Bhatt’s ‘loose copies’. Rahul Roy transforms into a tiger on every full moon night after he gets bitten by one on a hunting trip. Undoubtedly, the lowest point of censorship battles of all times happened during this movie when there was debate on whether to show Rahul Roy in the buff! I mean, who wanted to in the first place?

24. Kal Ki Awaaz – Huh?

25. Kasak – Duh?

26. Khel – Rakesh Roshan’s venture before he discovered a superstar was sitting opposite him on the breakfast table! A pretty intelligent film about two rival cons (Anil and Madhuri) out to make a fast buck. Shades of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. But what took the cake was Anupam Kher’s continuous singing of topical old film hits for every situation!

27. Khuda Gawah – Amitabh as Pathan warrior Badshah Khan! The opening bouzkashi scene alone was worth the price of admission!

28. Kshatriya – Sunny Deol and Sunjay Dutt, in their bulky worked out bodies went topless and at each other with giant-sized cutlasses in this mindless ‘epic’ by J P Dutta.

29. Laat Saab – See no. 21.

30. Mashooq – Dilip Kumar’s nephew debuted. Ayub Khan finally found his place in the sun almost ten years later when he punched Akash Malhotra for flirting with his girlfriend!

31. Meera Ka Mohan – Musical extravaganza on T-series tapes, starring Avinash Wadhwan and Ashwini Bhave. I recall the hero playing a flute on the posters but not much else. Neither would anybody else!

32. Mere Sajna Saath Nibhana – See no. 24.

33. Mr Bond – This was one of the earlier movies of Akshay Kumar, before hit stardom with Khiladi. And before his comedy star days, Akki was an action star, trying to reprise the secret agent act. Of course, he had a mother who was used by the villain to blackmail him! So much for 007!

34. Muqabla – Govinda and Aditya Pancholi played hawaldaars in this action-packed, emotion-laden musical potboiler (I am quoting from the trailer!) by either of Drama Naidu or Trauma Rao. One of the earlier examples of Govinda and Karishma’s motorized pelvises and innuendo-stuffed lyrics.

35. Naach Govinda Naach – One of the last movies to have the star’s name in the title (in the tradition of Johar & Mehmood and Laurel & Hardy)! It was expected to seal the supremacy of Govinda on the no. 1 throne. Instead, it sank without a trace. And the Badshah who rose this year is ruling ever since!

36. Nagin Aur Lootere – This was later remade in Hollywood as Snakes on a Plane. Think about it… the name sounds exactly like the plot!

37. Parampara – The last time Yash Chopra directed for a non-Yashraj banner. And the result was a multi-starrer, multi-generational thakur saga. Sunil Dutt, Vinod Khanna, Aamir Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Raveena Tandon, Neelam, Ramya, Ashwini Bhave and many more stars and starlets acted in a story of love despite parental opposition. Only this time, the lover was Vinod Khanna and the parent was Sunil Dutt. Where does that leave Aamir & Saif? Go figure!

38. Payal – This (along with QMHB, no. 43) was Bhagyashree’s return to tinsel town, with her husband (Himalaya, lovingly called Himi) in tow. Yes, she got married after the supernova success of Maine Pyar Kiya and kept a condition for her producers intent on signing her that she would only act opposite her hubby. The poor producers hoped that her star power would make the audience overlook the abominable acting talents of her hero! It didn’t.
Moral of the story: If Salman had insisted on acting with Somy Ali after his MPK success, he would have been acting in Balaji soaps today!

39. Phool Aur Kaante – Ajay Devgan made an entry like no other atop two motorbikes, sang hit songs, fought armies of goons, wooed Madhu (of Roja fame) – and even mouthed English dialogues (“When you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk!”). Full timepass!

40. Pitambar – Besides God, very few people know about this movie.

41. Prem Deewane – Really crappy movie about teen-lovers (Vivek Mushran and Pooja Bhatt) who try to kidnap a mature-lover (Jackie Shroff) for a reason I don’t remember any more. Maybe I don’t remember it because there wasn’t any! BTW, Madhuri played Jackie’s love interest in the movie.

42. Purush – Ashwini Bhave and Nana Patekar in a remake of a Marathi film about a politician raping a woman and her fight for justice. These are the so-called ‘strong roles’, which lure starlets and they end up titillating audiences with graphic rape scenes!

43. Qaid Mein Hain Bulbul – See no. 38.

44. Radha Ka Sangam – Govinda’s home production was directed by his brother Kirti Kumar. (Yes, the same guy whose son is in jail right now!) Though, why it was named after the heroine (Juhi Chawla) continues to mystify those who think about it!

45. Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman – SRK’s first solo hit. Was said to be a remake of Shri 420, just as Bas Itna Sa Khwab Hain was said to be a remake of this. Whatever – after this, Shah Rukh Ban Gaya Superstar!

46. Raju Dada – Sounds suspiciously like the dubbed version of a Telugu hit. Probably starring Chiranjeevi or Venkatesh! No idea.

47. Ram Ke Naam – Raam Jaane!

48. Roja – Arvind Swamy, Madhu and lots of Southie stars were seen for the first time to the North of Vindhyas in this movie. Somehow, we only remember A R Rehman.

49. Roop Ki Rani Choron Ka Raja – Boney Kapoor’s magnum opus was also the most expensive movie of its time. Sridevi was supposed to have made a world record for the maximum costumes in a single movie. (She didn't.) There was a train robbery scene which is surely one of the best action sequences I have seen ever (including Hollywood)! And I must have been one of about a hundred people who have seen the movie in a theatre!

50. Saatwan Aasman – Pooja Bhatt, I recall. A tragic love story between two terminally ill patients. Yet another film (supposedly) by Mahesh Bhatt. And you thought Gangster was depressing!

51. Sangeet – Madhuri Dixit in a double role. One as a blind nautanki dancer and other as a culturally inclined dowager. I think, there was some plot about one being the illegitimate child of the other. Jackie Shroff played a village simpleton.

52. Sapne Sajan Ke – Rahul Roy and Karishma Kapoor play two poor slysters, who pretend to be rich to each other. And fall in love. And sing songs. Ho hum… what else?

53. Sarphira – See no. 59.

54. Shola Aur Shabnam – One of the first Govinda-David Dhawan combines to deliver a complete tapori-style entertainer. This was probably Divya Bharti’s debut film.

55. Siyasat – Somehow, it sounds like a multi-starrer. But probably, I am confusing it with Sultanat! No clue.

56. Suraj Ka Satwan Ghoda – One of Shyam Benegal’s understated gems. It had a web of lovely stories narrated by Rajat Kapoor to his cronies in small-town India. Amrish Puri won a National Award for his role as a lecherous landlord.

57. Tadipaar – One more from Mahesh Bhatt’s assembly line of directorial output. It was a loose copy of “Roman Holiday” with Mithun-da doing the Gregory Peck role opposite Pooja Bhatt.
Loose copy – in Bollywood parlance – is when you lift only the story. Exact copy is when you lift the movie scene by scene!

58. Tehalka – Featured one of the most under-rated villains of Hindi cinema: Amrish Puri as Dong (jo kabhi wrong nahin ho sakta)! It also featured Javed Jaffrey, Naseeruddin Shah and Chunky Pandey in drag. And a nice little pun – the villain’s den was called Dongri-La.

59. Teja – Either Sanjay Dutt or Mithun. Nobody else can carry off a name like that!

60. TirangaaJaani, jab Nana aur hummm (scratch neck stylishly) ek hi picture mein kaam kartein hainnnn (tap pipe on table top), toh bahut hi pakauuuu picture bante hain… bahut hi pakau! Haan…

61. Tyaagi – Starred Bhagyashree but it was Rajanikanth in the title role – about the elder brother of a family who sacrifices everything for his brothers.

62. Vansh – Exact copy (See definition above) of a Mani Ratnam film about a man, his family and his illegitimate family. Anupam Kher plays the father. Sudesh Berry and Siddharth play the two sons.

63. Vartmaan – Fraud film. I am sure this does not exist!

64. Virodhi – Produced by Rajkumar Kohli, this was his son Armaan’s debut film which sank without trace or grace! Whatever Armaan lacked in talent, he made up in perseverance as he must be the only producer-son to have acted in a series of launch vehicles all of which have bombed! The latest attempt was recent enough – Jaani Dushman, Ek Anokhi Kahani!

65. Waqt Ka Badshah – Sounds like a slugfest between Dharmendra and/or Shatrughan Sinha and/or Vinod Khanna. But honestly, I don’t know!

66. Yalgaar – Feroze Khan’s supposedly stylish film. Except for Nagma who wore a bikini for the first (and last?) time, there doesn’t seem to be any other USP!

67. Zindagi Ek Juaa – I think this is Prakash Mehra’s last movie and I know it is his worst! Starred the supposed box-office Midas pair of Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit – but was such a bad film that it died because of the overdose of everything in it! Like Madhuri in the movie – who dies of a drug overdose!

68. Zulm Ki Hukumat – See no. 65.

Phew. Gasp. Pant. Pant.
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