Saturday, March 24, 2007

Guys, we still love you...

Dear Men in Blue -
We have rubbed out the sleep and blinked back the tears from last night. Also, the terrible vodka hangover is now gone. So, we can sit at our computers and type out a coherent mail to you guys.

First things first, we still love you.
Sachin, you are the greatest batsman in the world. Rahul, you are the second best batsman in Tests. Sourav, you are the second best batsman in ODIs. The rest of you are terrific too!
Even you Irfan... before they screwed up your career by trying to make you bat, you could have been our answer to Mcgrath. And may still be.

All the newspapers and TV channels are right now trying to think of different synonyms of the word 'shameful'. Quite disgusting because a couple of days back, they were doing Shift F7 for 'mammoth'. Bloody idiots.
Check out the covers of the same magazine exactly two weeks apart…

Look guys, beyond the media roller-coaster of champagne and chappals, please remember that each one of you is a genius. If there is any one team in the world, where every single player can be a match-winner, its us! Every one in the line-up (Uthappa included) has had a match in which they single-handedly decimated the opponent.
In the sub-continent, we have never really been too much of laptop cricketers and that shows. You guys revel in letting the adrenaline take control of the grey cells. When it comes good, it’s a sight for the Gods. When it doesn’t, well…

Sachin – you have borne the cross of not being a big-match player for the longest. Unfortumately for you, you are God. So when you perform a miracle, we take it as normal. When you come unstuck, we start comparing you (unfavourably) with Gavaskar and Richards. Your back-to-back centuries against Australia in Sharjah to win the Coca Cola Cup in 1998 were something Gavaskar couldn’t even have dreamt of. Your sixer off Shoaib Akhtar in the 2003 World Cup is not something even Sir Vivian has not done in the first over of the day. And there are so many more…

For each one of you guys, there is a match we want to tell our grandchildren about.
Yuvi and Kaif’s chase in the Natwest Final. Rahul and Sourav’s never-ending saga against Sri Lanka (Yeah, them! And guess how much Murali went for in his 10 overs? 60/0!). Kumble’s 6.1-2-12-6 in the Hero Cup at the Edens. All epics with solo heroes. Multi-starrers are just not our scene!
There have also been disasters in which they have wrestled victory to pull out the defeat between his jaws. But then, bad memories are best forgotten.

For such geniuses to get a Board like the one we have is a bit of a tragedy. And a coach like the one we have is a monstrosity of such magnitude that it is unfathomable.
After two years of Vision 2007 and Commitment to Excellence, all we get is our best fielder messing up chances in a crunch match. Our all-rounder of the future is neither the batsman he was supposed to become nor is he the bowler he was. The most impartial captain in our history stands accused of creating divisiveness in the team. Our best Test-batsman is bludgeoned into becoming a puppet-captain.
Pity your geniuses got smothered by the half-baked theories of a despot. But then the next one is just four years away.

It will remain a bit of a tragedy that the some of the greatest ODI players of all time will not have a World Cup victory to their name. But then, these things happen. Imagine, the greatest film of all time – Citizen Kane – did not win even a single Oscar. Back home, Sholay won a single insignificant Filmfare award.
Sachin, please don’t hang around for the 2011 World Cup. Just move on. You might be the coach who will get us the World Cup.

Guys – come back. Take rest. Kill your personal demons. And be the only team in the world even Australia is scared of. We have forgotten the Bangladesh match.

Just one request, don’t bring Mr Chappell back. Buy him a ticket to Australia directly from there. We will mail his cheque to him.

Love -
The Blue Billion

PS: Mahi, sorry about the house. Ask Kaif for his home insurance guy's number. We chadhoed on his house last time :-p


GettingThereNow said...

Personally, I don't care about cricket. But thats just me. What I cannot stand is the on now, off now attitude of cricket fans. If the cricket team wins - they are worshipped. If they lose, they are stoned and flogged. And that is why I liked your post. You have focused on the positive. On the future possibilities.

Ricercar said...

Isnt it insane, the cricket times we have been having lately ... and this just tops it up!

Diligent Candy said...

Well said!
Love the PS: ....:)

udayan said...

Wake up and smell the coffee ... the team's superstars are way past their prime (including Sehwag / Harbhajan) and there is no second line to think of ... the team is virtually the same as 2003 one.

Its not enough blaming Chappell for everything. Sri Lanka (and yes maybe even Bangladesh) has better teams with better talent, period.

Its one thing to be positive, quite another to be delusional.

Dipta Chaudhuri said...

@ Udayan: Not trying to be delusional, though most of India's wins would appear that way!

Mr Chappell has tried as much politics and scare tactics as he accused his bete noire of.
Not only did he fail to improve the basics, he did nothing to harness the natural talents of the team.
What else is a coach there for?

The Mad Momma said...

why you would waste time on a cricket post considering the guys are such a***holes.... is beyond me... oh good.. we're back to disagreeing...

Piper at the gates of dawn.. said...

hey i`ve been reading yr blogs for a while now, ever since my husband(also frm jadavpur)introduced me to your stuff. and i must say, you write verry well. but i choose to disagree on this one. these guys need time off - permanently.forget about the zillions of fans back home, reacting the way they are. its a world cup for heaven`s sake. its not a "win some-lose some" tournament. if this is the dismal way these guys are going to perform and you want them to continue.. well, let them - AFTER the world cup. but only against teams like holland,scotland etc(NOT Ireland!!).. c`mon, give us a break. we need one, dont we??

sacvee said...

Hey Dipto... nice post.. wanted to read something like this but couldnt find it on Rediff and of course definitely not on Bandrawest:-).

The collective shit of a billion people is what our blokes in blue have to carry.. once in a while a chappie breaks through it and makes everyone ecstatic.. otherwise lets all just be happy with the statistics, which is all we look at anyway.. who anyway cares about the worldcup.. this isnt football and never will be (viva la france :-)..

If we need lynching to satisfy the mob.. the coach would do fine.. the players will anyways face the music when their endorsements come for renewal..