Idiot Box: Memories from the 1980s

Religion is the opium of the masses – Karl Marx.
Karl Marx did not know about Ekta Kapoor – Anonymous.

There is one irrefutable fact about my old age. As of now, a greater part of my life has elapsed in the age of solo-channel television. It is expected to change soon but as of now…
Though I have taken to the multi-channel entertainment and complicated remotes with a vengeance, the old fogey in me still pines for the good ol’ days of Doordarshan where one actually looked forward to a particular time-slot every week and if one missed that, there was no hope of catching a repeat. I liked the overall concept of planning one’s life around Khandaan and seeing the familiar logo of Richardson Hindustan before almost every show.

Sridhar Kshirsagar was the director of the series, which was rumoured to be a copy of Dynasty (probably because the name was an exact translation). But since the only access to Dynasty was through the terribly grainy & erratic transmission of Bangladesh TV, nobody ever got down to identifying plot similarities.
The director – despite the super successful debut – did only one more serial (to my knowledge) which was a sort of a thriller with Radha Seth and Benjamin Gilani playing a problem solving duo.
Khandaan gave us a phenomenal number of stars – Neena Gupta, Mohan Bhandari, Vivek Vaswani, Shernaz Patel, Sujata Mehta – probably second only to Buniyaad. Every Wednesday evening at about 9 PM, everybody congregated to watch “Badalte rishton ki anokhi dastaan – Khandaan” (spoken in the Harish Bhimani baritone) with its tantalizing pictures of high-society Bombay, the super-rich in their swanky mansions and their convoluted lives. There was very little business shown and no mention was ever made as to how these terribly rich people got terribly rich. Rather, it had rebellious children, adulterous husbands, spoilt brats and other monstrosities making all of India feel that the problems of rich were no different from theirs!

While on the topic of dynastic sagas, there is nothing to beat the two Manohar Shyam Joshi opii – Humlog and Buniyaad.
Hugely long (by those standards), the first one ran for some 78 episodes and the second for 104. Started off as weekly series, both of them got bi-weekly slots and gave ‘glued to the sets’ a whole new meaning.

Apparently, Humlog was commissioned to be a message for family planning as it had a veritable avalanche of misfortunes befalling the central family. I doubt if it worked because when the entire nation started to shed tears at the plights of Lalloo, Nanhe, Chhutki, Majhli and Badki, not having such a lovable brood was surely not on their minds! And of course, we cannot forget Ashok Kumar popping up at the end of each episode with his small speech of recap, sermon and preview which was watched just for the curiosity on how he would fit in Humlog at the end of the talk – and in which language!

From Baseswar Ram’s DDA flat, Buniyaad went right across the border with Ramesh Sippy and Indian couch potatoes came into being.
This time, stars were made of Alok Nath (Master-ji, still going strong) and Anita Kanwar (Lajo-ji, who vanished into thin air). While a new lease life came to the careers of Kiran Juneja (later becoming the director’s wife), Kanwaljeet (the first superstar of Indian TV), Mazhar Khan (only role of consequence after Shaan), Vijayendra Ghatge, Dalip Tahil, Sony Razdaan and the lot. For about a year, Haveli Ram, Raliya Ram, Veerawali and their broods were completely addictive.
In faraway Calcutta, rumours floated on how the book on which Buniyaad was based (is there one?) is available in Delhi and how everybody in Delhi knew the entire story beforehand!
And the story itself was quite a ‘page-turner’… Pakistani refugees, illegitimate children, family conspiracies, lots of emotions added up to one hell of a dynastic saga as it held eyeballs like no other.
That way, Humlog was a lot like Ramayana with its linear, simple narrative. Buniyaad, with its sub-plots and multi-layered narration, was a bit like Mahabharat.
Even now, I can still visualize the blue CP logo of Colgate Palmolive turning round and the red-brick-background of the titles appearing to the tune of “Tere mere jeevan ka yahi buniyaad…

What I miss most from those days of television are the comedies.
The best of the lot has to be Kundan Shah’s Yeh Jo Hain Zindagi – which made stars of all four characters. Shafi Inamdar, Rakesh Bedi, Swaroop Sampat and most hilariously, Satish Shah just ruled our Friday evenings with their zany problems. Eventually, the show brought on other characters as the earlier ones exited. Farida Jalal made her comeback to showbiz as the lovable Chachi in this serial and aunts became cool again! But like all good things in life, the punch of the initial days had fizzled away.

Nukkad – the other ‘funny’ – ran for a shorter period but managed to pack in a whole lot of quirky underdogs. It is quite amazing how the serial never left the street-corner-under-a-flyover set and managed to be engrossing week after week. Though it must be said that, given the budget constraints, the set managed to be very realistic. The cycle repair shop, the teashop and the paan stall below the row of chawl houses were all bang on! And of course, Guru, Khopri, Radha, Teacher-ji, Kalabaaz and Kader-bhai turned out to be completely real as well.

Sai Paranjpe (of Katha and Chashme Baddoor fame) gave two very funny serials – of which I remember only the name of Ados Pados. One was a love story between a rich girl (played by the director’s daughter – Winnie Paranjpe) and a poor (painter) boy, facilitated by the grandfathers. The other was a relationship between a son and his father (Amol Palekar) in the funny surroundings of an apartment block. Apart from the main stories in both of them, they managed to pack in a whole lot of sub-plots as well.

One very intelligent comedy was Mr Yogi (a.k.a Yogesh Patel a.k.a Y I Patel) – story of a US-returned Gujju-boy (Mohan Gokhale) looking for a wife according to the zodiac. 12 episodes to check out one girl each – and one to wrap it up! 13 episodes and we are done.
On the other hand, nowadays it takes one full episode just to show one tight slap with the multiple camera angles and musical zooms!

One genre completely missing from today’s television is the intelligent detective series. I emphasise on intelligent because what goes on in the name of mystery series nowadays is usually a nostril-flaring nincompoop thrashing confessions out of all the usual suspects till he reaches the correct one!
The ultimate Indian TV detective is – of course – Karamchand with his intelligence and idiosyncrasy getting along famously. His signature mannerisms – especially his response to the standard “Sir, you are a genius” – developed quite a bit of a cult following. When he returned recently, the episodes had stretched to an hour though the depth of the mysteries had not, so old-timers like me were disappointed and fans of CID just moved on to the trailers of Aashiq Banaya Aapne, I guess!
And yes, the new Kitty was no match for the forever-on-the-brink Sushmita Mukherjee. (Did you know that she is Keshto Mukherjee’s daughter? Well, now you do!)

One under-rated ‘detective’ show was Barrister Vinod – with Parikshit Sahni in a wig so shiny that it looked as if a gramophone record had been stuck on! Along with his assistant Neelam, the good barrister took up cases to defend people accused of murder and solved them neatly with the help of a little bit of detection, a wee bit of legalese and a whole lot of bonhomie. This one followed a set pattern of investigation in one episode and courtroom denouement in the second.

In the whole recap of the best of the times, it is time for me to make a confession on behalf of my family. Along with the above examples television excellence, we managed to watch a few execrable ones as well and we remember those ones better!
Karamchand had started when I was quite young (around Class V, I guess) and being a late night slot (and me being a notorious late-riser), I was often barred from watching it.

However, when I was a little older, a serial called Quile Ka Rahasya (Mystery of the Fort) started. It was about a group of friends who stumble upon an apparently haunted fort. Any non-believer who visits the fort returns with a bloody palm-print on the back and they die within 14 days. This reasonably interesting premise had a lot of promise – of an interesting horror/thriller show. But it turned out to be such a boring mish-mash of comedy and melodrama that we did not miss a single episode. We religiously assembled in front of the TV set and vilely abused the actors, makers and financiers of the show without a pause!

If you think this was the pits, you ain’t heard anything yet! Kanwaljeet Singh appeared in the title role of a serial called PC 1008, where PC stood for Police Constable. He was meant to be a do-good problem solver.
The serial turned to be the debris of bad acting, terrible dialogues and hilarious set design. Courtroom scenes were held in what was obviously an office, with the judge sitting on a revolving chair behind a corporate style desk!
But the absolute mind-boggler turned out to be the supremely irritating title song, which went something like “Pissi pissi pissi pissi (in a sing-song voice) One Zero Zero Eight (in a baritone)”. The written word becomes so helpless in situations like this as not even an infinitesimal part of the irritation can be conveyed through writing!

Which brings me to the crowning glory of my television watching life.
Since it is a Bengali serial, the appeal may get slightly limited but then, cinematic genius shines through the barriers of language!
Chowdhury Pharmaceuticals starred Moonmoon Sen and George Baker along with other stalwarts of the Bengali screen. In a casting coup, it marked the small screen debut of Congress politician Subroto Mukherjee (who later became the Mayor of Calcutta) as hero.
In an even more daring coup, the serial was supposed to have an extensive sequence in a swimming pool featuring the lead pair. Moonmoon Sen was obviously a natural in swimsuits but the semi-balding paunchy Subroto-babu promised to be a novelty like no other.
In a very early example of a ‘leak’, a small screen magazine called Television (from the Aajkaal group) published a whole lot of pictures from the shooting with both the lead players in scantily clad glory! The West Bengal Pradesh Congress Committee screamed blue murder and bludgeoned Subroto Mukherjee. As if our pants are not getting taken off often enough, they reasoned. Think what will happen if Mamata Banerjee decides to follow suit, they threatened. So Subroto Mukherjee ‘requested’ the producers of the serial to edit the offending sequence and it only appeared partially and in the recap sequence of the later episodes.
This was only a part of the 360-degree hilarity of the serial. The story was about the Chowdhury family whose family business was in manufacture of hydraulic pumps (obviously not, see the name of the serial – silly!). So, the patriarch dies, mess is unearthed, faithful family retainer turns devilish, power struggle for inheritance ensues and serial collapses in a bloody heap!
With sub-plots copied from Robin Cook and Arthur Hailey, Moonmoon Sen pouting from Lalbajar to Ludhiana and Subroto Mukherjee hamming more than a sausage factory – the four of us used to fall off the chair laughing and later mimicking the scenes! One landmark dialogue “Rupa, don’t be shentimentaal. Be practicaal” by Subroto Mukherjee is still fondly remembered by us.
We were more than a little embarrassed at the enjoyment we derived from serial until we read an obituary of Satyajit Ray by Victor Banerjee. Apparently, on a flight back from Delhi, Ray told Victor that he was rushing back to catch the latest episode of Chowdhury Pharmaceuticals! He even acted out some of his favourite scenes, ordered Victor to watch the serial regularly and pronounced that it was better than anything Chaplin had ever produced!
Armed with this certificate, we proudly proclaimed our allegiance to all and sundry, became devout followers and still find great joy in discussing the abysmal vocal pitch of Subroto Mukherjee.

Evidently, a family that watches bad TV together, stays together!

Comments

the mad momma said…
what a rich haul... brought back childhood memories. like the Old Skool series they are showing on zee cafe with wonder years and doogie howser... thanks dipta...
Diligent Candy said…
Wonderful! Like TMM says, brought back some really old memories...

The Keshto trivia is brilliant! Thanks...
Anonymous said…
well, not much of this took me down memory lane, but that's only because i belong to the cable generation.
But i remember one series I used to catch on saturday nights at 9pm, it was a western comedy series dubbed in english from what seemed to me like german back then [i assumed so coz they talked frequently of marks and not dollars or pounds]. it was something on the lines of mr. bean, though a lot more sophisticated. anyone here, any idea of the name of the show I'm talking about? i've been trying to remember it for the past few weeks, but to no avail.
Anonymous said…
That was absolutely brilliant... :)
Anonymous said…
The author, who happens to be my son, not only made me nostalgic, but suitably impressed me with his memory.

Many of the serials, all of which ended after a definite number of episodes, were very enjoyable.

By the way, Nukkad was the first one of a series.
Sumitha said…
This made me really nostalgic!Reminds me of others like Mungeri lal ke haseen sapne,Udaan,a Moushmi Chatterji serial,dont remember its name though.Another detective favourite of mine was Byomkesh Bakshi.
eika said…
Dipto, How can you forget Miss Lucy and Chunauti and Neev and Indradhanush and Sigma - that made our Sunday worth living for... and never to forget the 5.45 pm 'hindi feature film'... I used to even manage to catch the 'deaf and dumb news' and the 'regional feature film'.....
dipali said…
What a lovely world that was, Dipta. Now with the gadzillion endless serials there is hardly anything worth watching(:-(
udayan said…
Sridhar Kshirsagar was also responsible for Katha Sagar.

Have a vague idea, that Barrister Vinod was the first serial on DD (apart from foreign re-runs). You might want to check that out.

And you forgot the old turkey ... Vikram Vikram Vikram, Vetal Vetal Vetal ... Vikram Aur Vetaaaaaaaaaaaaaal, Vikram Aur Vetaaaaaaaaaaaaaal. Used to come right after friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

How much did you score on quiznet DD quizzes :))
Anonymous said…
omigod, the memories you've brought back! i can't believe someone else actually watched Qilay Ka Rahasya! I was 9, I think, and it came right after the late night Sherlock Holmes mini-series. I think we were the last of the lot to watch and remember these serials... my brother, who is just five years younger, remembers none of them. The satellite invasion happened when he was 8, so he doesn't remember life before it. I'm glad we saw what we saw, though. I'd like to believe things were simpler back in the day. But then again, maybe it's just nostalgia and old age talking. :0) Thanks, Dipta! Loved this post.
Wonderful post - made me go back to those happy school-going years. I think the name of the other Sai Paranjpe serial was Hum Panchi ek Chawl ke - but I might be mistaken. Two other huge favorites during those years were Trishna, based on Pride and Prejudice, and Chunauti, which starred Arif Zakaria and dealt with college politics.
@ Bapi: Nukkad was followed by a seria; called 'Platform' in which exactly the same cast moved from the street corner to a railway platform. Now, it is my turn to be impressed.

@ Sumitha, Eika: Chunauti, Indradhanush and Udaan were my favourites as well. Bad misses!
Incidentally, if you remember a bungling friend of the hero in Indradhanush, that was Karan Johar!

@ OJ: Quile ka Rahasya had many 'admirers', waiting to crawl out of the woodworks!
@ Udayan: It is actually "Vikram vikram vikram Ve-taal taal taal". That serial was so famous that Tortoise made an ad on that with Satish Shah as Vetaal!
Anonymous said…
And how about serials like 'Byomkesh Bakshi', 'Aa bail mujhe maar', 'Fauji', 'Circus'.................!!!! Not to mention a whole host of Transtel shows, including the really old 'Barba papa' (does ANYONE remember that?).

Great post, Dipta - brought back a LOT of memories!

Uma
(BMD 99, in case you are wondering........)
Anonymous said…
Karl Marx did not know about Ekta Kapoor - Anonymous

Hahahaha....
Anonymous said…
First time visitor to your blog. really impressed.

adding to the above list of quality serials - Farman (kanwaljeet singh again). Followed by tandoori nights (saeed jaffery) followed by Oshin (a japanese serial). There was one called kashish (sudesh berry and malvika something).

How about a post on old kiddi shows - Didi's comedy show, gayab aya, jungle book... am feeling like (26-16) 10 again :)
Unknown said…
Reached your blog thru Issac's. Absolutely loved this post. I've spent so many hours discussing all these serials with friends and feeling hopelessly nostalgic! Stone Boy & Gaayab Aaya (Animated) were other favorites of mine :)
kolhapuri said…
Nukkad was followed by 'Intezaar" and not"Platform"
Anonymous said…
Sridhar Kshirsagar directed several TV Serials after Khandaan. These include Ghar Jamai (A "North-South" comedy with Satish Shah and Anand Mahadevan) , Stri ( a docu-drama about Famous Indian women) , Gulmohar West, Manzil etc. Having also watched Dynasty I can say that the similarity between that and Khandaan isn't strong. I don't believe that Kshirsagar made Kathasagar.
DivSu said…
I used to be quite scared watching "Quile ka Rahasya".

But in intelligent detectives, you forgot "Byomkesh Bakshi". I used to love the serial and would sit "glued to the TV set" every Wednesday 9-9.30.

Its true how sad the TV quality has become these days :( I just abhor it now.
Little Woman said…
hey buddy,

Any clue from where I can get "Quile Ka Rahasya" complete series.. I remember those times.. awesome one.. and would like to have that series as a memory.. as a collection.. Any help from you is much appreciated.. if you find anything would request you to please mail me at akshay.pandit@gmail.com or
antara.pandit@gmail.com

Thanks, for remembering and reminding those day's
Anonymous said…
from doordarsan bhawan
Unknown said…
hello dipta! gr8 post!!....
i remember waiting for the serials and finishing my homework promply to be able to watch them!
By the way....can anyone help me find copies of any of these serials....mainly looking for Gulmohar West coz a known person had acted in it. let me know if anyone can find it.
- Priya-
Anonymous said…
I had actually forgotten the names of all these serials...just remembered watching quilay ka rahasya in the night....u guys brought back the old memories...
Vineet said…
apart from the serials mentioned by you and others, I was surprised no one spoke about the serial Inkaar starring Salim Ghouse (hope I am right) which revolved around drug abuse. I was very scared about having to get out of the safety of my school and society into the jungle called "college" when i would grow old one day.
@Vineet - The serial you mention was called Subah. Its first episode was introduced by Amitabh Bachchan?
I'm sorrym but wasn't it Lenin who said that about religion?
Sakshi said…
Ashutosh Givariker took the story of "mr. Yogi' and made the movie 'Whats Your Rashi?'.
Spiritual Chant said…
Thanks for refreshing our memories. Some more - Alice in wonderland, Star Trek, Saptahiki, Chitrahaar, Spider-Man, Didi's Comedy show, Waah Janab, Rangoli, Tipu Sultan, Chaar Chatur...
Spiritual Chant said…
Two more - Tehkikaat and Palaash ke phool. Beautiful days.
meena said…
Nostalgic! My elder sister raves about Trishna (and Traun Dhanrajgir) and I haven't been able to find it anywhere. Do you people remember Aarohan (starring pallavi joshi, parzan dastur, shefali chhaya and harsh chhaya)
By the way...Sushmita Mukherjee is NOT Keshto Mukherjee's daughter. You may refer to the link here below for verifying this.

http://chatinterviews.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1076717.cms
Came across this 9 year old gem of yours as greatbong has linked it in his latest post... needless to say enjoyed it thoroughly. Though, you are a bit older than I am - meaning I was too young to understand these serials very well then, but could follow them vaguely - still I enjoyed reliving the Doordarshan days. I am the one from the times of Byomkesh Bakshi, Wagle ki Duniya, Bharat-ek Khoj, Fauji, Circus, Wagle ki Duniya etc. (Even reciting the names makes one nostalgic).

PS. Thanks for PC1008 - had forgotten it - couldn't recollect the series even after reading your paragraph, but in the end when I reached PC..PC..PC..PC.... it all came back to me within a flash :-D. Priceless!