Come to think it, writing a book on Bollywood was a LOT of fun. For nearly a year now, I have been happily thinking of entries for my 50 lists, checking clips on YouTube, scouring IMDb for additional info, writing them down and re-writing them to squeeze in more jokes! It was great fun… till I hit the proof-reading stage.
Proofs are supposed to be filled with misaligned paragraphs, extra line breaks, colons instead of semi-colons and inconsistent spelling of proper nouns. Now, add all of that to a book loaded with film names, song lyrics and dialogues to get a 70-mm, Dolby stereophonic, Love Story 2050-sized disaster.
On top of that, add an author who has no knowledge of Hindi and you are left with a book-full of decisions on whether it should be ‘hain’ or ‘hai’.
Anyway, I have finally managed to (hopefully) eradicate all such mistakes and sent the manuscript back to my publishers – leaving behind about 50 lines from the book, which have hain/hai in them. To make the best out of a tiring situation, I thought I will transform these lines into a Bollywood Dialogue Quiz!
12 fill-in-the-blank type questions on some famous and some not-so-famous lines from Bollywood!
1. Fill in the blanks: Iss story mein _____ hai, _____ hai, _____ hai. (You have to give it in the correct order.)
2. A landmark (* T&C apply) line from a Subhash Ghai film. Again, fill in the blanks: ____ khilakey pass pass aane ki koshish kar rahi hai.
3. Somebody said this about Aamir Khan. Woh achha chhokra hai but he is not _____. What isn’t he?
4. Which film had these lines: Aaja Honey / Mausam hai funny / Charo taraf sannata / Koi na marega mainu chnaata. Bonus point: Who said it?
5. The answer is: Ek aisi machine jo har sawaal ka theek jawaab deti hai. What is the question? And who asked it?
6. Sitter. Fill in the blanks with two words: Aaj zindagi mein pehli baar _____ ki sher se takkar hui hai.
7. Name the character to whom this is addressed: Ishwar ka ashirwaad hota hai ek chutki sindoor. Suhagan ka sar ka taaj hota hai ek chutki sindoor...
8. Fill in the blank: Naam hai mera ____, baby humein tum nahin jaanta. Bonus Point: Name the two institutions which collaborated on this song.
9. Bachpan se hai sar pe Allah ka haath, aur ______ hai apne saath. – Whose saath?
10. Daaru ki botal mein kahen pani bharta hai / Phir na kehna _____ daaru peeke danga karta hai. Who creates a ruckus after drinking?
11. Harpreet Singh Bedi said, “Mere ____ kum hain, ____ nahin...” Complete his confident statement.
12. And finally, a lesser known line from an all-time classic: Aurat apna farz nibha chuki. Ab _____. What?
You know where to find the answers… except that it is not coming out till June!
UPDATED TO ADD: Just to clarify, you will not have to wait for the book (ahem) for the answers to this quiz. I will publish the answers by Sunday evening IST.
1. Iss story mein emotion hai, drama hai, tragedy hai. – Veeru (Dharmendra), Sholay.
One point for the words. One point for the order.
2. Pass Pass khilakey pass pass aane ki koshish kar rahi hai. – Isha Puri (Kareena Kapoor), Yaadein.
The Movie with the Worst Product Placements Ever. When they were not plugging Coke, they were plugging Pass Pass Mouth Freshener.
3. Woh achha chhokra hai but he is not an Iyer. – Mr Iyer, Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke.
Vaijayanthi’s father was very impressed by his daughter’s suitor but felt that he had one major flaw!
4. Sardar Makkhan Singh (Rajendranath) said these lines in An Evening in Paris.
One point for the film. One point for the speaker/actor.
5. Yeh computer-computer kya laga rakkha hain? – RK Gupta (Sanjeev Kumar), Trishul.
This is probably the first time a computer was mentioned in a Hindi film. I have given points to all who have identified the film/situation correctly.
6. Aaj zindagi mein pehli baar Sher Khan ki sher se takkar hui hai. – Sher Khan (Pran), Zanjeer.
7. Ramesh Babu is the person to whom these lines were addressed. “Ek chutki sindoor ka keemat tum kya jaano, Ramesh Babu…”
8. Naam hai mera Fonseca, baby humein tum nahin jaanta. – Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar
Queen’s College and Rajput College performed this number at the Inter-college Music Competition of Dehradun.
One point for the names. One point for the names of the colleges.
9. Bachpan se hai sar pe Allah ka haath, aur Allah Rakha hai apne saath. – Iqbal (Amitabh Bachchan), Coolie.
10. Daaru ki botal mein kahen pani bharta hai / Phir na kehna Michael daaru peeke danga karta hai. – Michael (Pran), Majboor.
11. Mere marks kum hain, dimaag nahin. – Harpreet Singh Bedi (Ranbir Kapoor), Rocket Singh: Salesman Of The Year.
12. Aurat apna farz nibha chuki. Ab maa apne bete ka intezaar karne jaa rahi hai. – Sumitra Devi (Nirupa Roy), Deewaar.
POINTS (out of 15)
Excuse errors since it is done very sleepily, at the fag end of the KKR match!
Khalil Sawant – 4.5
Keeping it Simple – 9
Amit – 10
Anonymous – 1
Plaban Mohanty – 5.5
Kittam Kittu – 8
Sumit – 6
Abhishek Mukherjee – 9
Anon (2) – 1.5 and to answer your query, we will have a Kindle edition.
The Quark – 8 (though I would like to see the version of Sholay in which Veeru says 'kahaani’ and not ‘story’!)