Pun is Mightier than the Word

This post is because of a quote – A day without a pun is like a day without sunshine. There is gloom for improvement. Having been to the Brand Equity Quiz, I thought of writing about a guy and his girlfriend, both of whom were ardent quizzers. They were quite active in the Calcutta quizzing circuit.
Their general knowledge was fantastic. Armed with their GK and love for each other, the couple won every major quiz in Calcutta. This continued for a few years when tragedy struck and the girl died in a bus accident on her way to Digha. The boy was shattered by this tragedy and stopped quizzing altogether.
His friends were upset that he had given up something so dear to him. They wanted him to brush up his GK and start participating in quizzes once again. But every time somebody asked him to do so, he had only one word to say - "Jab dil hi toot gaya, hum GK kya karengey..."

Ah - nothing to break the humdrum of life better than with a good pun! While at it, I might as well tell you about the sleeping animals - a man and a dog. A man dreams that he is writing The Lord of the Rings but actually he is only Tolkien in his sleep!

Another man had a dog. Every night the dog used to shout in his sleep - "I am Bill Gates... I discovered Penicillin... I play the mandolin..." and so on. Despite having such a strange pet, the man always remained unperturbed. After all, he knew that it is always better to let sleeping dogs lie.

Did you hear about three Hollywood superstars making a film on the great Western composers? There was considerable debate on which star gets which role. Eventually, there was some consensus and Stallone said, "I will be Beethoven." Tom Cruise said, "I will be Mozart." At which point, Schwarzenegger spoke up - "I will be Bach."

Updated to add: Guess how many words in each paragraph?